Shopping Divas On a Shoestring Budget

Today, Haylee, Ashley, and I went shopping for Haylee’s one-year birthday present. Haylee is quite the little shopping diva. Ashley was showing Haylee a little ballerina dress that Haylee cooed over and then her mom was going to put it back onto the rack when the lip came out and the tears started. So, we let her keep it in the buggy – what a girl!

From there we sauntered over to the toy section in search of the perfect little birthday present – you know – kind of a fancy ride, when we saw a big end cap of gigantic balls. Haylee started saying “baw, baw”, which, of course, prompted Nana to go and get her one. Even though it was bigger than she was, she squealed with delight, promptly tossing it out of the buggy and holding her little hands out to receive it back.

Then we hit the sale racks. Ashley is the queen of bargain shoppers and she found a couple of little things for Haylee. There we were in the middle of Target, me holding Haylee, while her mom squeezed her into a pair of skinny jeans. I must say, for an “almost one year old” she looked wicked cool in those jeans

We looked at things we hoped to be able to get in the future, things we would like to have now, possible Mother’s day presents and reminisced over things Ashley enjoyed as a child.

This day was a gift – a rare and precious gift – and I will treasure the memory as long as I live. Holy moments do not always occur in buildings with steeples and stained glass windows sometimes they happen in the aisle of Target stores and so I say:

This Holy Moment was a gift from God above
This Holy Moment was sent from Heaven with love,
So I’ll cherish this time and with gratitude sing
We never know what tomorrow may bring
So, for this moment, I’ll praise my Lord and King.

Lyrics taken from the song not yet published(soon I hope)

Suicide - Is it selfish or selfless?

Because of our incapability to inhabit the mental state of the suicidal, suicide eludes explanation, forever remaining an unfathomable and disturbing phenomenon. The act of killing oneself invokes feelings in those left behind like nothing else. Bafflement, dismissal, heroic glorification, sympathy, anger, condemnation are but a few of the vast array of emotions, but I would venture to say, guilt might be at the top of the list.

I just recently found out that an acquaintance committed suicide. He was working with us on recording a couple of our songs - beautiful, powerful voice - large personality - never occurred to me this was even a possibility. Then he called one evening and told us that his wife had left him for a woman – had taken their children – and was accusing him of child abuse.

He vehemently denied that he had ever abused his children and was quite perplexed as to why his, now estranged, wife would accuse him of such a thing. It did not seem to us in our dealings with him that he would be the kind to abuse anyone but without living with someone, you never really know. So, my husband, Greg did the only thing you can ever be sure is the right thing to do, he prayed with him and for him and for his wife and his children.

A couple of months later, he called back seeking advice. He had indeed been arrested and was out on bail but did not have enough money for a good lawyer and really didn’t know how to keep from losing his wife and his children. Greg made a couple of suggestions and, of course, prayed with him. If we could have, we most likely would have loaned him some money for a good lawyer but we just simply didn’t have anything to give. He also expressed his disappointment with many who he had considered friends that would have nothing to do with him anymore.

Periodically, over the next few months, we prayed for him often and just assumed we didn’t hear from him because he was busy trying to salvage his life. When we heard that he had committed suicide, we were stunned - then baffled - then the wondering began. Why didn’t we call and check on him; why didn’t we send him a card of encouragement; why didn’t we do a plethora of other actions that might have helped?

Frankly, his innocence or guilt should have had no bearing on our actions. We would have had different advice depending on the truth of the situation but at least we could have “been there”.

I have this mental picture of him feeling completely hopeless and abandoned by everyone. No one should be made to feel utterly alone. (I say this excluding the sex offenders and Charles Manson types) It should not be too difficult to ascertain that the most prevalent feeling I have about his suicide is guilt.

Whether I deem suicide as selfish or selfless one thing I know, the path of destruction that it leaves behind is a virtual Katrina – affecting everyone in its path – the severity depending on how close you were to the eye of the hurricane.

There are several people I know that are going through extreme difficulty right now. I know this, I'm going to call or write, email or visit; anything so that they don't feel like they are going through their storm alone.

Join me - won't you?

Kindness

I am learning that, with rare exception, everyone is going through “something”. Some are struggling with relationships, some with addictions, some with pride, most with financial woes, many with illnesses, and the list goes on-and-on. Therefore, I do not know why I am surprised when I learn that someone I thought was doing just fine has been in a knockdown, drag-out fight with some life issue.


So, to myself, I say, “Practice kindness”! Be aware that everyone with whom you come into contact could use a word of encouragement - a smile - a genuine display of caring.


And, I would add, myself included.